#13- reaching out to an old friend

I'm not really sure why, but lately I have been thinking alot about relationships that need to be mended in my life. There are things that have happened in the past, friends I have hurt or who have hurt me that I feel like I still need to make peace with. There's one in particular who I thought about today. She was my best friend growing up. We were inseperable, people even thought we looked alike. I loved her. She was like the sister I never had. We were like this from 6th grade until college, and then we grew apart, naturally I guess, it happens sometimes. We gradually just became distant, and then in 2004 things ended on kind of a rotten note. Nothing was really ever said after that point, we just stopped talking. It bothered me for years. Nothing bothers me more than issues that go unresolved. But it did, and it went on for years. I finally reached out to her a few years back, and while we didnt actually talk about anything that had happened, we were able to make amends with eachother, and things were left on a good note I guess you would say. I wish things could have been different, and still think about her to this day. I care about her very much, and wish we had remained friends so we could be a part of eachother's lives as adults...but life doesnt always work out that way. As an adult, it's very hard for me to accept the fact that some friends don't stay around forever. Life gets in the way, distance comes between us, and sometimes those things are bigger than us and we have no control over the outcome.

Anyway, I thought of this particular friend today. I sent her a message via facebook since it's the only way I have to contact her at this time. I know she isn't on there a lot, but I wanted to let her know that I thought of her today, and that I hope she and her family are doing well. When I pulled up the message, there was a message she had sent me last September, telling me happy late birthday, and that she still remembers it after all these years. Seeing that message made me smile. We haven't spoken again since, but remembering that that was the last conversation we had made me smile. I did happen to remember her birthday as well, and I posted on her facebook to tell her happy birthday (she doesn't have her birthday on fb, honest, I remembered it by heart! lol)...but I don't think she ever seen it.  I hope she gets my message soon, and I hope she knows that she still means a lot to me, after all these years.   

My boys

I realized today that not only have I neglected writing in my blog...but even more importantly, I have neglected posting pictures of my beautiful babies! Please note, picture #2 is 100% spot on with both of their personalities. Brax is completely easy going, smiles all around. Korbyn is stubborn, adorable, and not afraid to protest smiling. I love these little guys so much, there are no words.

#12- kind words & being present

Sometimes I feel like I missed my calling in life. Actually, there's not a doubt in my mind that I did. I've always been a person that people come to seeking advice, or comfort. While I don't always feel like I have the right words to say, I always get a thanks & I continue to be the person who people come to for help. I love feeling like I can make a positive difference in someones life who is in need. As I've grown up I've become aware of the fact that people are often drawn to me for this reason. People I hardly know will open up to me on a personal level. It used to bother me, but I now see it as a gift. I was meant to help others, whether it be by counseling, just listening, giving advice, etc.

Yesterday a very close friend of mine called & needed someone to confide in
 She's going through a very hard time and I felt this was my opportunity, to drop everything for a few minutes and to just be present at that moment for her. Sometimes I think we get caught up in life & aren't there for people who truly need us. It's not always intentional, but it happens. I had some things going on at the moment, but I knew her needs were more important. The gift of being present can mean SO much.

Second..I sent a nice text to my hubby from work just saying thanks for everything he does.He tells me a lot that I'm appreciated, but I realized I don't tell him very often. Kind words & your presence are two of the most important gifts you can give, in my opinion.

Even if you haven't decided to read this book & start your own challenge... I personally encourage everyone who reads this today to take the time to give one, or both of these gifts to someone in your life today :)

#11- giving to a stranger

Ok, not going to lie, these last 3 days I've struggled a little bit. My gifts have been very minimal & I've found myself running out of time before I decide what my gift for the day will be. Since I'm still early in the challenge, I plan to start on a fresh slate with #12. I think it's very easy to get wrapped up in everyday life sometimes & it's happened to me! While I have been distracted I can honestly say that having this challenge in the back of my mind has helped refocus my attention away from the stress I've been dealing with. Focusing on what I can do for other people on a daily basis has helped me put my problems into perspective & has relieved a great deal of stress for me. So while I'm not pleased with my last 3 days...I still feel accomplished & I'm moving forward with the intent to finish strong!

So day 11 went a lot like the previous 2 days. I let my stress take over & didn't put my whole heart into my gift. I had almost decided that I'd be starting over on day 1 today, but was then given an opportunity to give to a stranger. I had posted a toddler bedding set on a Facebook yardsale page for $8. It's been in a tote for at least 2 years so I wasn't worried about getting much out of it. I had someone reply that she wanted the set so much that she'd be willing to pay $18 if I could hold it until she's back in town Wednesday. Im almost positive I didn't pay much more than $18 for it when I got it over 3 years ago...so no way I am going to take that much for it. I let her know holding it wasn't a big deal & $8 is fine.  I offered to meet her Wednesday & since she was the only person interested in the set, I'm planning to just give it to her for free. While I haven't actually met her yet, I'm counting this as yesterday's gift, because I didn't accept her offer of $18. My gift to her was offering to hold it at no extra cost. Giving it to her for free Wednesday will be the icing on the cake for day #11.

Gift #10- The CTFD method

I recently read this article on parenting : http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3588031. While I realize it's pretty funny...it's also pretty true! Sometimes I find myself being a stressed out, high strung mom...NOT who I want to be, at all. Day 10 started out on the wrong foot, and I decided I needed to take a step back, gather myself & start again
 We all have those days, right?....RIGHT?!  I decided my gift for the day would be the CTFD method. Applied to everyone, not just my kids. Overall I think my attitude adjustment made everyone happy ( including myself), which of course led to a much better day at our house. Bryan even got a nap, which rarely happens because I'm a nag. Working on that......

Gift #9- a gift for myself

Sometimes I feel like my life is in constant motion. Always running with the kids doing something, and I love it. I couldn't picture my life any other way. But there are days that I just need a break. Even if just a minute to sit down and chill & enjoy peace & quiet. Day #9 rolled around & I didn't feel well at all. I decided when I laid Korbyn down for a nap I'd take advantage and take a nap too. I think allowing yourself to slow down & rest every once in awhile is a valuable gift to yourself.  I wasn't sure at first if I should really call this a gift, but I gave it some thought & realized...of course it's a gift! It's not something I normally allow myself to do, and it was much needed. So yes, day #9 was a nap, for ME !

#8- lending a helpful hand

Today sucked...I'll just go ahead & say it. As part of my career development plan at work, I volunteered to cross train with the tellers at a local branch. I pictured this being a nice break from my real job. An opportunity to meet new people, work with the public, learn what the job of a teller entails. While I did enjoy interacting with customers all day, the rest wasn't what I imagined.

First, it was the day after a holiday, which pretty much = HELL at the bank. They were very short staffed...busy as hell....the teller I had the pleasure of shadowing seemed to only have a slow mode...and I got many dirty looks from impatient customers waiting in line, wondering why the hell I wasn't helping them at the next open computer. Reminded me of Walmart, 30 registers but only 3 open. To add to that list, I was a dummy & wore heels, which I deeply regretted after spending 6 hours standing.

I decided that while it wasn't what I had in mind, I could make life easier for myself, and the one teller left working at 5pm, and scan the work for him while he helped customers. It's the only skill I had in common with the tellers & since I could offer help, rather than standing around waiting to watch him scan, I did it for him. He asked me questions & I gave him tips & helpful advice for future use. It was a win win situation at the end of a shit day, and I left feeling like I actually accomplished something.  While it wasn't my favorite gift thus far, I know it relieved some stress for the teller, & made his night a little better.

#7- Memories

I'm really notorious for making plans...and then not following through with them, for stupid reasons. " It sounded fun until I had a stressful day...sounded fun until Korbyn got tired & grumpy... sounded fun until I decided to over think it". Those kinds of things. When I really think about it, we've probably missed out on lots of fun memories because of my horrible habit of over thinking everything I do. So yesterday, being the 24th I decided we should go see the famous Liberty Park firework show. Sounded like a great idea...then our day got a little stressful. It was hot as hell outside, Korbyn needed a nap, I was grumpy...etc. I sent Bryan a text saying I was having second thoughts about going. He's used to me doing this...his reply was "ok". I immediately thought to myself, " why do I do this...ALL the time?" I decided right then that this was my opportunity for the day. Instead if deciding for the 4 of us that I would rather sit at home & be a grumpy ass, I decided I'd suck it up & we'd go watch the fireworks. I dreaded the crowd...the traffic... the kids getting tired, etc. I was so wrong, about all of that. We parked a few blocks away & walked, which we all really enjoyed. We found the perfect seat on the grass, the boys were both happy to be out doing something, and the fireworks were amazing.  We had a great time and I didn't regret anything about it. The looks on the boy's faces almost made me cry, because I realized at that moment that I almost robbed them of this priceless memory, for my own selfish reasons. We always have the best time when we decide to just chill out & roll with it. When we were leaving we asked Brax what his favorite part was. His reply, " ALL of it, I LOVED it".

#6- The gift of precious time

Because time is never promised, I hate the fact that technology consumes us. I hate that I carry my phone everywhere I go...even into the damn bathroom! Hate that I'm constantly checking Facebook, instagram, email, etc. I miss the days when life was simple. People actually had to TALK to each other. You didn't have to get annoyed over being mid conversation with someone who suddenly looks at their phone as if it just can't wait. Technology, while making people more advanced in some ways has made them ignorant, socially awkward on many other levels. It's like an addiction & I'm completely guilty of taking my piece of the pie. I often think to myself how much more valuable relationships were before cell phones took over the world. It makes me sad to know that this is the world my kids will inevitably grow up in. They'll never experience the simple life like I had as a child. I can only do my part to shelter them as much as possible...ha ha! That's partially true, I refuse to hand my 5 year old a cell phone. Not even if it makes me a cool mom. I'll keep my boys innocent and little  for as long as I can, thank you very much.

I decided today, after having anxiety 2 days ago over being without the internet for ONE day, that I'd give it up willingly today, while at home, so I could give my boys precious time. Uninterrupted time, all of my attention on them. I found that it was much easier doing this as a choice, not being forced. I didn't miss the constant checking of my phone at all. We had a fun & productive day & I didn't sacrifice any of it to be consumed by the rat race of technology that we live in.  We laughed, played...even left the house by 9am, which is unheard of for me! We experienced Korbyn's first bloody injury at the park, and I didn't feel the need to post an instant status update, lol. It's sad to think that this was my gift for the day...when this should be my gift to them EVERY day. I'm embarrassed that I've allowed myself to become THAT mom. The mom who is consumed with the cell phone. From this day on, my cell phone will no longer be a priority in my life. Yes I will be taking pictures everywhere we go & of course I'm not going to abandon Facebook or Instagram... but I will be setting limits & focusing my time on what matters the most. I challenge all of you to have a cell phone free day with whoever it is that you spend your day with.

My gift today may seem silly...but it was by far the most meaningful & priceless one so far. The gift of time is irreplaceable!

Gift #5- Opportunity...encouragement... & changing the world 1 cookie at a time

I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking wow...with a title like that, this better be exciting! It got your attention, that's what I was going for. It was pretty exciting today to see my poor abandoned blog has gone from just 100 views, to now over 200. So I figured it must be my catchy titles!

First, I was totally joking about changing the world 1 cookie at a time. Kind of.  Let's talk about cookies for a second. They're good, most people like them, most people would appreciate someone approaching them with a fresh plate of cookies " just because". Tell me I'm wrong. That's right...you can't, because it's the truth! So today I got the urge to make another batch of cookies, and decided to take some to the nice girls at Brew Monkey on my way to work. They were excited & surprised I'd bring cookies to them.  People don't just take cookies into coffee shops to give away. Ha ha. I also took cookies to my girlfriends at work.  Cookies cookies everywhere!   I didn't actually do this as my daily gift though...so let's move on to that.

One of my favorite Baristas recently quit so she could focus on finishing school & get ready for her upcoming baby.  She was one of the best because she loved her job. She genuinely enjoyed making people smile & her energy was contagious. I'll miss that. So today I decided I'd drop off a card to be passed along to her. I thanked her for all the conversations & laughs, and wished her the very best of luck with her new endeavors. While I didn't get to personally give her the card, I'm sure it will mean something to know that she will truly be missed...and to be told she was great at what she did, and it didn't go unnoticed. I know I know...you might be thinking " its only day 5 & you've given 2 cards...". I thought the same thing at first, but then reminded myself that it doesn't matter. I took an opportunity to give & went with it. Funny thing is, this still isn't what I consider to be the gift I gave today. This leads me to that....

My gift for the day didn't happen until the day was almost over. I guess it could be called the gift of opportunity, or maybe the gift of connection. Whatever it may be called, the opportunity for me to give this gift was very obvious to me. Here's how gift #5 went down
.  I follow a business page on Facebook for a boutique in the small town I grew up in. The owner posted something today asking followers what they'd think of a coffee shop in the  town. I immediately thought how awesome that would be. I miss the coffee shops when I'm there visiting. Call me weird, but I love them. The coffee, the atmosphere... I just love it all. So I replied, obviously supporting the idea. I then thought of my brother, who's been in the coffee shop industry for 6 years now. He manages a local coffee/gelato bar & it's truly his passion. We've toyed with the idea of opening our own shop, but it's remained just that...an idea. So I thought how cool would it be to connect the boutique owner with my brother. They have so much they could offer each other. She's a successful small business owner looking to expand into an area that he's an expert in. Perfect!! Both were excited about the idea of being able to talk & possibly help each other out in the future. I believe this was my real opportunity to give today. Being in the right place at the right time, I was able to connect 2 people who were complete strangers...that have so much they can offer to each other that could greatly benefit them both.

 Thank you for taking the time to read this! I hope you'll follow 24 more days!

29 gifts- a quick overview

I thought I'd take a minute to recap my first 4 days of the giving challenge, before moving on to day #5.

As I stated before, the challenge is all about giving with pure intent & mindful purpose. You should seek out an opportunity to give each day, rather than planning in advance. I'll go ahead & admit, that was pretty challenging for me the first couple of days. Not because I wasn't given the opportunity... and not even because I didn't act on those opportunities, but because I felt like what I could give wasn't significant enough. Even though I read the book & thoroughly understand the challenge, and the fact that gifts can be small & that doesn't make them less valuable or meaningful. I guess I naturally doubt myself, & this is something I'm working on alongside this challenge.

 The book also talks about how important it is to not only give, but to be open to receiving as well. Of course we should never give with the intent of expecting something in return, however we do need to realize that receiving is part of the giving process. I don't necessarily believe that when we give more we receive more...& that's not at all what this is about, however when we do good for others I do believe we are blessed in return. I don't care what anyone says, I truly do believe that the world can be a better place and that change starts with individual people like us who have the desire to make things better. It's such a simple concept.

Yesterday while at the farmer's market with my family, I seen the people who own the produce stand near our home. They immediately recognized me as the girl who gave them the thank you card. They thanked me again, talked to us for a couple of minutes and sent us on our way with the items we purchased, as well as a bag of free stuff, just to show their appreciation for the gesture. It felt great to know that the card meant that much to them, & this reassured me that my gift, while it had seemed small after the fact,  WAS significant to them, and that's what this is all about.

Gift #4- Love thy neighbor

I'll start by telling you, we love our next door neighbors. They are 1 of 2 of the original families that have lived in the culdesac since we moved in 9 years ago. They are always super friendly, never hesitant to offer help in any way they can, they are respectful & just great people.  Over the years we've had the pleasure of getting to know this family & watching their 3 girls grow up.  They are the type of neighbor that you feel ok with asking to borrow a cup of sugar from ( we've actually borrowed random things like this from each other a few times). We feel very lucky to have them next door, and I realized yesterday that we don't express that to them enough. Working the strange hours that I do, I don't see them often, mostly just on weekends, so the timing was great!  I've had a small obsession with baking lately, so decided to bake them some cookies. My first delivery attempt, no one was home, so I left the cookies on the porch. A few minutes later I decided not only would the cookies possibly melt in the scorching heat, but it would be nice to deliver in person & say hi. Attempt #2, still not home but it was getting late so I decided since they'd probably be home soon I'd just leave them. As I was walking across the lawn back home, they pulled in the driveway. So it was meant for me to deliver in person after all!  We had a quick conversation & went about our evening. Them, with cookies in hand. I, with the genuine appreciation in my heart for awesome neighbors!

Gift #3- The gift of touch

I went all day yesterday with no Internet whatsoever... so I'll be catching up today!

Day 3- This one is pretty simple. I'll start by saying, I have little girly hands that are very weak. I like to blame my job, which entails sitting at a computer for 6 hours typing & 10-keying. I'm not 100% sure, but the bottom line is, my hands hurt a lot. They hurt even worse when I attempt giving a massage. I can usually endure about 5 minutes, then I'm done.

So Saturday, Bryan had a bad headache, stemming from tension in his neck. I decided to suck it up & offer a massage. I had to stop every few minutes to let my hands rest, but I did it & he was more than grateful.  Doing something out of your norm often helps open your eyes to what you're capable of. No, I don't give an amazing massage...but I AM capable of giving the best massage that I can give!

29 Gifts- Day 2. Slurpee & a buck

Day #2 of the challenge went a lot like day #1. I started to worry when 4 pm rolled around & I hadn't yet given a gift. Sometimes I think that we actually do give gifts on a daily basis that we aren't even aware of. Which is why I believe this challenge will be beneficial to my life. This challenge will teach me to be mindful each day & aware of what I can offer others. It's truly amazing the energy shift you experience when you focus on others, rather than your own problems & struggles. I feel like in return, your problems begin to not only seem smaller...but you realize that they actually are. May seem silly saying all of this on day #2. But it was a great day, & I feel like this challenge is going to serve a huge purpose in my life. I just don't know yet what that is.

So 4 pm rolls around. It's over 100 degrees. It's time for me to go to work. As I'm sitting outside with my boys, nothing about the previous sentence seems ideal at all. I'd rather be hanging out with them eating a popsicle while pointing out airplanes in the sky. But the reality is...I have a job that requires I work on Friday night. I might talk about that another day...but today, here's what went down that presented me with my opportunity to give. As we sat outside, Bryan talked about how awesome a slurpee sounded. A huge, coke flavored slurpee from 7-11. I'm sometimes a smart ass...not always, but sometimes. So I respond by telling him to go get himself one. He replies back something about how enjoyable loading 2 kids into a 120 degree car for a 5 min trip to 7-11 for a slurpee sounds. He has a point. But I kept that to myself & decided to surprise him before I went to work. I said bye, left " for work" & returned home 5 min later, huge coke slurpee in hand. He was surprised, & thankful. Now I know this is small...but there's nothing quite like getting something right at the moment when it's JUST what you want!

So I then left for work, smile on my face for making my hubs day with a slurpee. I decided to add a little bonus gift when I stopped at Brew Monkey for my daily coffee fix. I couldn't pass this up. I walked in, was immediately greeted by both Batista's who asked about my day, complimented me about my shirt & sent me on my way with my favorite coffee ever...without charging any extra for soy milk. This opportunity may as well have slapped me across the face. It was pretty evident that I could give here as well. I normally leave  a $1 tip when I get my drink. Today I threw in an extra dollar. I then went on my way to work.

So there you have it, a slurpee & a buck.  Two simple things that made the day a little brighter.

29 days of giving- day 1

So I tried my best today to not have a planned gift in mind. I'm a natural worrisome person, so I did worry that the day would be over...and I may have not recognized my ideal opportunity to give. I soon realized that I've got to just roll with this & trust my inner self more than usual. Turns out I was faced with a perfect opportunity.

 So I recently became a regular at a small family owned produce stand near my home. They have excellent produce that is CHEAP! They operate completely based on the honor system, which is rare these days.By honor system, I literally mean they have a bolted down box, with a slot for people to pay for items they take.  Today when we stopped for our cucumber fix..I was sad to see a sign that indicated that due to thieves stealing the produce they'd left out, hours will now be very limited so they can keep an eye on the stand. I thought about it a lot today. Not only did I feel terrible for these people, who trusted their customers to do the right thing...& were taken advantage of, but also, I wondered if they depend on the income they receive from these goods. Either way, it sucks. I seen this as my opportunity to give today. Since I had to wait an hour for them to open, I went home & wrote the owners a heartfelt thank you card. I let them know how much I personally appreciate the food they provide, and the fact that they keep it very affordable. I had planned to anonymously drop the card in the box with my $, but when I got there, the owners were working inside & I was able ( or maybe felt forced lol) to hand them the card personally. The woman was so thankful for the gesture, and thanked me over & over. The fact that the gesture meant something to her made my first day of giving a success!  I'm excited to see what I'm faced with tomorrow!

29 days of giving challenge!

First of all, let me just say that I do realize that my blog sucks. I know nothing about blogging really, and I'm WAY behind on blogging my life, obviously!  So if you've taken the time to visit my blog & read this, thank you!

I've recently started following a blog that I've fallen in love with, and am following in the footsteps of the writer, who recently posted about a book she listened to, & a challenge she's committed to. First, the blog is called Busy Being Happy. It's about life. Real, unedited, life. And I love it. The book is called 29 Gifts, how 29 days of giving can change your life. I read the post about this challenge & first decided to immediately get the book & see what it was all about. I must say, this is the first book (with the exception of children's books) that I've read cover to cover...in years. Sad I know! I do love to read, just don't make time for it. I couldn't put this book down, that says a lot. I'm ready to make some positive changes in my life, and accepting the 29 day giving challenge seems to me like a perfect step in that direction. I debated keeping my journal ( part of the challenge) in a notebook
..completely old school. But decided I'd share my experience openly with those wondering what, why & how this will all go down! I'd highly recommend the book to anyone reading this. My belief is that we can all improve, we all have the ability to be the very best person we can, and sometimes life throws us an opportunity to do just that.

With that being said, today was day 1 for me. As the book says, you shouldn't start this challenge by making a list of 29 gifts that you plan to give. Each gift should be mindfully & thoughtfully given. Your gift can be anything from your time & attention, lending someone a hand, giving a tangible gift, a smile or kind word...literally anything , as long as you've given it thought & it stems from your heart.